5.18.2010

half real

i feel so low right now.


all my friends are leaving. and the ones that are still here arent really my friends. they just say so but dont really act like it.
or they dont say so. i was just mislead last year.
whatever








































and today I saw an old friend
called me outta the blue and we had a visit
she greeted me with ice cream and a green bowl to smoke


and seeing her broke my heart because she looked frail
and i could tell she has be up to no good.




i am honest in my confessions and answers to the questions people ask me
but horribly dishonest in my emotions.


i will never willingly show the way I truly feel
most of the time I behave the opposite to the way I feel. to overcompensate and hide what is really going on. and its sad because i have lost a lot of people that way. pushed people out because I had to much pride to admit how much i really did care.


ugh. mush.mush. crybaby face

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