white horses

Tonight and 
Today have been extremely good. 

I was a couple hours late to work. but it was all good. as usual no one said anything. The weather was not to bad and I found out that the paper I thought was due Thursday is not due until NEXXXT Thursday. excellent! excellent! And on top of that Danielle came over for a little bit, and Logan came over too. I haven't hung out with either of them for awhile, so considering that they are 2 of my better friends it was nice spending a little time with them. we talked about Dubai and the War. and what we as a species. human beings. could do to make the world better and to treat each other better. We all had good ideas. I think that things will get better because our generation is more open minded.   Danielle says that we are the Indigo generation. and that we are special. I believe it. I think its true. and even if its not true yet, if we just believe in it, maybe we can manifest it. you never know. 


a few weeks ago I could not escape a deep feeling of sadness. and now out of no where I have been feeling this deep intense feeling of happiness that is incredibly overwhelming. sometimes it feels like it is going to burst out of my core in the form of bright golden rays of light. i do not know. I am most definitely crazy.  I don't mind though. and I don't think the people that know me care either. Everyone I know is crazy or fucked up. and it is perfect. 

I  feel so full of love and magic. stars. smoke. moonlight. whatever
. i am going to disintegrate into a million little tiny pieces. little gold and red flakes flying all around. like pollen particles.

Beach Fossils

I am starting to like this band  (Beach Fossils) more and more everyday.

so far their song "The Horse" is my favorite. its cute. kinda old sounding. I could imagine it coming out in the 80s. maybe?





This video by them for the song "Desert Sand" is pretty good too.

LOVE

COMME des GARCONS














high fashion + RAD T-shirts + awesome little heart creature logo= the greatest.

TURKEY LURKEY

I like this song a lot. it is sincerely good. not just kind of.
The band : Weekend  i dont really know to much about but so far so good. They were featured on FADER and reviewed on pitchfork so they cant be bad. (can they?)

whatever though!
Happy Thanksgiving!
I LOVE YOU
all!!

menace to society

oooh OH this is good stuff::
  Akira Beard's series of paintings "Made in America, by an American, for all Americans" is awesome! mostly a series of portraits of famous icons and celebrities portrayed as sell outs and "double-faced proteges of high finance." (LODOWN) is well done, incredibly entertaining and just all around super fucking excellent!














Lykke Li has a new video out for her new song "Get Some" and it is really good.


Lykke Li - Get Some (Director: Johan Söderberg) from Lykke Li on Vimeo.



you can download Jack Preston's new cd "The Language of Anguish" for free



and lastly
this band is called  Tame Impala, their fans just call them Tame for short, and seem to be in to psychedelics. This is the video for their song "Half Full Glass of Wine"





oh my gosh yess! i love them! hope you like it too! enjoyyyyaaahahahaha
<3

Like This?

Dazed and Confused just released there October 2010 playlist.
I Like most of it.
Love a lot of it
dis like some of it.
make up your own mind:: Click here to Go To the Playlist

my mind is stuck in the mud HELLP MEEEEE

I have been the most cynical hater stick in the mud for the past 2 months or so
and I don't like it.
I want my happy positive self back.
as of now I say:
I don't like anyone
Everyone is fake.
I do not want any friends.
I don't love anyone and no one loves me.

Allll of those things are sucky.
And i know I don't mean any of it.
But my mind is just so stuck in it.
and i don't know how to crawl out.
well actually I do.
I just have to do it.
I just have to say FUCK YOU NEGATIVITY YOU CANT TAKE MY SOUL!!

but here is the real deal. what is really going on:

I have epilepsy. 
and I have been in denial about it for the past....forever.
I dont want to have it.
I am angry that I have it.
It is getting worse.
AND my doctor said I have to take this HORRID horrible horrible medicine called depakote.
it sucks. it makes me feel bad. mentally and physically,
my skin gets dry and I turn into an alligator.
I have no energy and I turn into a zombie
I have no patience and I turn into a bitch
my hair thins. suicidal thoughts come in and life becomes a chore.
and everyday I wake up wishing i could close my eyes and sink into the darkness.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know how to fix it,
I don't know who to turn to.
I don't know who to talk to.
I am way depresssed. and i don't want to be, I need to get better.
i need to feel better.
today I am going to really try and feel better.
 i know it dangerous. but i have decided not to take the medicine.
i rather just hav epilepsy and sometimes twitch and fall down and also feel happy and alive
then be a zombie girl with no twitches and no soul.
ya know what i mean?
and there are tears welling up in my eyes right now. because I just dont want to be sad about this anymore.
where did my happy heart go?


ok okok. im not ok. but i will be sooner then later. i know it. it has to be true.

ZOMBIE ZOMBIE

long live the FURIE

Matt Furie('s art) on the cover of Giant Robot this month
 I lub him
and guess what!
It comes with a cd rom computer gamer designed by him
  yess, so great.

owe you anything...

Bombay Bicycle Club 


  <3
I love you I LOVE YOU
um yea i do.

only the young die young

PANTyRAiD

 











 This is SO gewd.  ghetto beats to grind to. 

so much funnnn   "get chu upset like ah bad bad of weed..."

sometimes. 

but tell me::

am I making bad choices? 

do i know what is coming? 

i think I do. 

but it doesnt matter 'til I hear it from someone else

'til its to late. 

thief

here are some randoms that I have been listening too a lot this week.

Orchard Thief::work
They are chill.eee. summertime with a glass of lemonade or sleepyhead face laying in bed on a cloudy day.
Most people I share them with enjoy them. A slam dunk for sure.

If you want it then TAKE it



and then there is classic Smiths::Hatful of Hollow
we all know them. I dont think I need to say much. but I do just wanna say the first song on here
"This night has Opened my Eyes" everytime I put this CD on and here it Im just like GOSH I LOVE THEM!
TAKE





and we all LOVE
  Electric Wizard Dopethrone

Microwaves

what IF I could just turn it all off.
all the weird ideas
all the paranoid thoughts
what IF I could just
have tan skin and blond hair and blue eyes and all that normal stuff that goes with being cool
I think I would hate myself

for reals.
ok but seriously
I am doing things that I feel will in the near future be disappointing
I am a smart girl and I am pretty good and picking up vibes true to the reality of situations
 and
right now I am ignoring them and going after what I want regardless of the red flags I keep tripping over.



BIG SIGH:: we'll see.
and even if it does end up sucking for me.
Oh well.
in 100 years it will not matter.
I am sure of it.

.....or am I?