Microwaves

what IF I could just turn it all off.
all the weird ideas
all the paranoid thoughts
what IF I could just
have tan skin and blond hair and blue eyes and all that normal stuff that goes with being cool
I think I would hate myself

for reals.
ok but seriously
I am doing things that I feel will in the near future be disappointing
I am a smart girl and I am pretty good and picking up vibes true to the reality of situations
 and
right now I am ignoring them and going after what I want regardless of the red flags I keep tripping over.



BIG SIGH:: we'll see.
and even if it does end up sucking for me.
Oh well.
in 100 years it will not matter.
I am sure of it.

.....or am I?